Sweet, Raptured Light
by Iris Omega
Summary: One-shot, AlicexKyo. Spoilers for volume 4. "Holding my last breath, safe inside myself... are all my thoughts of you? Sweet, raptured light... it ends here tonight"


Author's Note: This is just a quick little fic I threw together... I'm not sure if it's any good or not. -shrug- I've been waiting forever to write a song-fic to Evanescence's "My Last Breath." I was reading volume 4 of "Alice 19th," and I was absolutely elated when I came up with an idea to go along with "My Last Breath." Sooo... enjoy! If you can... -sweatdrop-

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Disclaimer: I do not own Alice 19th—'tis owned by Yu Watase, VIZ, and whoever else owns it—and I do not own "My Last Breath"—'tis owned by Evanescence and Wind-Up Records.

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I jerkily turn my head to the side. My blue eyes are glazed over—I can tell that my vision is leaving me. Fatigue is all that I can feel now. Even the pain has gone. My hand sticks to the blood—my blood—spread over the linoleum covering the bathroom floor. A few glass shards are still embedded in my body, but I can't feel them anymore.

Wincing, I squeeze my eyes shut. Mayura... she did this to me... my sister... no, she's not my sister anymore—she's Darva. I tried so hard to save her... I did everything I could...

Tears start streaming out of my eyes, but I barely notice. It's my fault Mayura is like this. I did this to her. It's only fair that I should be repaid in full. My death... maybe it will make Mayura happy. Maybe she will have fulfilled her desire. She'll have Kyo...

Kyo. Oh God, what about Kyo? I... I love him... maybe it's a good thing I never told him. I'm dying now—I should be dead soon. I'll be leaving him behind. I know that he can save Mayura... I hope they'll be happy without me...

"Alice!"

Raising my eyes, I see Kyo standing over me—eyes wide in shock. I didn't want him to see me like this... I just wanted to pass on without having to face him again. He kneels down next to me. His mouth is wide open, as if he wants to say something but can't.

Lifting a hand, he brushes some blood-stained hair out of my face. "Alice... does it... hurt?"

Are those tears I see in his eyes? I open my mouth to tell him that I don't feel any pain, but no words will come out. Instead, I feebly shake my head and force a strained smile to reassure him.

Frey walks into the room and stops short when he sees me. I hear him shout the Lotis word "Jiva," and some energy surges into my body. However, I still can barely move—although I feel stronger.

"Frey, can't you help her?"

Ignoring Kyo's desperate-sounding question, Frey kneels down next to me and gently removes the shards of glass. His voice sounds choked as he manages to get out the word "Kara." I feel a warm, soothing blanket wrapped around me, and I smile up at him-eyes filled with gratitude. He smiles back—to the best of his ability—and walks off with tears shining in his brilliant green eyes.

Suddenly, I feel Kyo's arms wrapped themselves around my body. I'm a little shocked at first; why would Kyo even want to be here right now? But... I'm glad he's here... I'm glad I can see him one last time...

_**Hold on to me, love  
**__**You know I can't stay long  
**__**All I wanted to say was  
**_'_**I love you, and I'm not afraid'**_

As he shifts, I can see the Maram seal—"Disuri"—that Mayura had branded on his chest. It's better... it's better that I die... I bite my lip until it goes numb. If I had lived, I would have endangered him. I would never be able to tell him those three simple words—"I love you." Mayura never would have removed the seal, and Kyo's hatred for his father is so strong... my feelings are futile. It's better that I die now than live on and never tell him.

_**Can you hear me?  
**__**Can you feel me in your arms?**_

I lean my forehead against his shoulder. I remember the time I found Nyozeka. I had rushed out into traffic to save her—although I thought she was merely a rabbit. A car had almost hit me, and Kyo risked his life to save mine. That was the first time I ever really talked to him...

After Nyozeka ran off, Kyo searched restlessly for her. He knew it would make me happy, so he put up posters and everything. I didn't understand then... I couldn't understand why he did it for me. Me—the girl who was always known as "Mayura Seno's little sister."

I knew I was out of my league when I set my sights on Kyo. Every girl in school had some kind of crush on him—they most likely still do. Only a handful of people even knew my name. Yet... Kyo did. He knew my name.

_**Holding my last breath  
**__**Safe inside myself  
**__**Are all my thoughts of you?  
**__**Sweet, raptured light—  
**__**It ends here tonight**_

Kyo... how I wish that I could have told you... but I'm weak—too weak... and I always have been... but, Kyo—you never cared. You believed in me... you were the first one to believe in me... Mayura supported me, and I betrayed her. Now... am I betraying you, as well?

Don't blame Mayura for this... I wish I could tell you that it wasn't her fault, but the words won't come. Everything that happened... everything that we've gone through... _I've_ put you through it all. And yet... you said that you loved me. I couldn't understand... and I still can't.

Kyo, you have to be strong... you are all that I never could have been. I don't want to die, but if I'm gone... maybe you'll have a chance to move on. Maybe Mayura will come back. Once I'm out of the way... everything will be better—trust me.

I'll miss you... I'll miss everyone... but please... _please_ don't miss me... move one with your life. We'll see each-other again one day... but don't rush our meeting... you have to live, Kyo. I failed my mission... but you can carry on without me... I believe in you...

_**I'll miss the winter  
**__**A world of fragile things  
**__**Look for me in the white forest  
**__**Hiding in a hollow tree  
**__**(Come find me)**_

I feel warm, wet tears against my neck. Kyo... are you crying? I've never seen you cry... but you've seen me cry, haven't you? If I couldn't be strong in life, I'm going to be strong now... in death. Please—be strong with me.

_**I know you hear me  
**__**I can taste it in your tears**_

Tell everyone that I love them... tell them that I know they can defeat Darva... and... tell Mayura that I'm sorry... I never wanted any of this to happen. But you know all of this already—don't you? You know how I feel... you understand me.

I smile faintly for you. It's the least I can do... I have to let you know that I'm safe... that I'm fine... that I'm happy. I'm happy for _you_—happy that you have a life to go back to... happy that you have a mission to fulfill... happy... that you don't need me... the same way that I needed you.

If my death can bring life... then why should I cry? You have to understand that this isn't the end. I've loved you for so long... I wanted to live in your embrace... it seems ironic that I am now dying in your arms. It's better that I never told you... it has to be...

_**Holding my last breath  
**__**Safe inside myself  
**__**Are all my thoughts of you?  
**__**Sweet, raptured light—  
**__**It ends here tonight**_

I can't feel you anymore, Kyo... I can't feel anything... I can't see, either... so this is what it's like to die... I always wondered... I always was so afraid of death... but now it seems to be the only thing I'm not afraid of... life is interesting that way, ne?

My body relaxes as I give up. I have no reason to go on living... there's no hope for me, understand? I only wish that I had never lied to you. I wish that things could have been different between us... sometimes... I wish we never met.

I was so foolish. I wanted so much to tell you... I thought that love was life... but now... in death... I know differently.

I don't want you to feel alone. Please don't... you have so many others who love you... _please_ don't love me...

_**Closing your eyes to disappear  
**__**You pray your dreams will leave you here  
**__**But still you wake and know the truth  
**__**No one's there**_

Goodbye, Kyo... please, don't shout my name... I can still hear you... faintly in the distance... just let me go... let me die alone... your love is too much for me to bear.

I hope... I hope that you can go on loving... but love someone else. You know it's what I would want... and I trust you...

So many peoples' hope hinges on you, Kyo. We are the legendary Neo-Masters... and once I'm gone... you will be the only one left. You will be the only one who can defeat Darva. Do it... for me.

_Goodbye, Kyo..._

_**Say goodnight  
**__**Don't be afraid  
**__**Calling me, calling me  
**__**As you fade to black**_

_**Holding my last breath  
**__**Safe inside myself  
**__**Are all my thoughts of you?  
**__**Sweet, raptured light—  
**__**It ends here tonight...**_

_...I love you._

_-_

Author's Note: Eh, yeah... I've been really into angst lately... hope it was up-to-par. I'm not used to writing angst. -sigh- But you can expect more from me in the future. -wink-


End file.
